woman vices

let's play "i spy" with the contents of my purse.

really?

really, meg.

you disgust me.


anyway,

anyone know where to get a cute slash cheapish purse
that i can abuse for the next few months until this happens again?

deep thoughts by jack handy's niece

i am a woman.

but i have a bone to pick with my species:

i have been drinking more water lately,
which lands me in the little meg's room more often,
which leaves me with women in a public place to "do their thing."

this brings me to my question:

ladies, "don't we all pee?"

why do we insist on having noise in the restroom before we do so?
(you totally sit there and wait for the sink or a flush...don't even pretend you don't...)

are you afraid that someone will hear you making that revolting noise??

or worse?
what if they hear a "plop" sound?

you are dead meat you disgusting creature.

better hurry out before they see who it was that dared to move a bowel in public!

you know it's true.

you will find yourself in a restroom tomorrow silently reaching for the toilet paper...

looking for some audience participation...

a riddle for the day:

what do the following words have in common?

umbrella
air
halo
poker face


[you have 24 hours to answer...so make em good]

something much cooler than Y2K....

yes, i waited at work so i could take a picture of this.

behold:

12:34:56 on 7/8/9

never to happen again in your lifetime at least!

so whats & chicken putts

started the new job last week.

i have been observing all this week.

yesterday, we took a 45 minute break to watch a bunch of dudes chuck rubber chickens down the isle and they get points for getting them into carefully placed trash receptacles or a plant at the end. they yell "trees-ies" if someone gets the said 20 pointer.

i was in awe.

later in the day, we watched as the janitor chick walked around to tend to the plants and trash and noticed the orphaned battered plant.
she exclaimed, "something happened here huh..." no one responded....
she continued to communicate silently with her plant and eventually walked away.
(plant whisperers have a 6th sense. they just know.)

the cubicles nearby just laughed.
the guy next to me said, "it said on her little cart, 'save the plants.'
i just couldn't bring myself to tell her that we were chuckin rubber chickens at her plant!"


then this morning,
i get to my new trainer's desk where he had a putting green lined up from the night before
(apparently a morning ritual).
the men lined up,
"welp, lets see what kind of day its going to be..."
i made one in heels. (thanks, dad.) he didn't get a one.
apparently that's a good day.

this, friends, is why we go to college.

to get salary jobs that they make sitcoms out of.

but seriously, its going to be great.
in fact, it is already proving to make for some blog-worthy material.

25 completely, randomly useless things

here goes,
in no order whatsoever:

one:
i have always had better guyfriends than girlfriends.
still do. i am thinking of having bridesmen at my wedding,
but that's like 7 more vests we'd have to make...

two:
i have a bit of an over-obsession with film.
they must be quality though, and i have to talk about them...

three:
i have issues with fingernails.
i bite them when nervous, bored, or in a suspenseful movie....
to curb it, i keep them painted.
they are currently quite long, thank you.
(and red, der, for love month.)

four:
i hate running.
i do it, but hate it.
i do love dancing and yoga-ing or pilates-ing....
and attempting to stay in shape.

five:
if i could have any job just given to me right now
and be one extremely happy camper,
it would be a sports photographer.
or a foto-journalist....

six:
i love black people,
and sometimes i have dreams that my name is Lenisha...

seven:
i love driving by myself in my car.
i sing and dance real loud and love to see the reactions
to my rockin out.
(i guess i do that in the shower too.... minus the reactions.)
currently, i am cycling through jason mraz and dave barnes.
soon to be william fitzsimmons...

eight:
i have never been outside of the country.
unless you count tiajuana.
i will be using my passport on my honeymoon or i don't wanna go!
[ok, maybe i would go... or i would let hawaii count...]

nine:
i am a complete word nerd.
i love learning new words and using them.
some of my favorites this year: tertiary, ancillary, and tangential.
i also have a problem not reading my old lit textbooks...
sick.

ten:
sometimes i am just a little OCD with dairy.
i have a brother that used to leave cheese out and it got nasty,
so now i am fierce about putting the cheese away the second we are done.
and eggs, milk...etc.
my family still teases me about it.
and i am most likely scarred for life.

eleven:
i have never (before now) dated a guy whose family
even remotely liked me.
sarcasm and caffeine, among all else, are satan.

twelve:
is my lucky number. always has been.
i tried out for cheer in ninth grade with that number.
i'm not superstitious, but whenever i get a fortune and 12 is on the back,
i tend to think that it really will come true...

thirteen:
i am the youngest in my family.
all of my brothers look after me,
and my younger sister, who is taller and wiser, does too...
i look up to every one.

fourteen:
i love college football. i really do.
i dated a guy that was obsessed and it grew on me.
i cant miss a byu game now.
i also like basketball, and due to a father and four brothers, golf.
i know, i know...

fifteen:
i love to take fotos of the most random things.
currently my fetish is with hydrants and drinking fountains...
used to be red doors. but those are not as frequent in the west.
actually, neither are cute hydrants.

sixteen:
i love holidays.
that might be my mother's fault.
any excuse to throw a themed party that really should be simplified...

seventeen:
i have a horrible memory.
i think i am depreciating.
i therefore have to write everything down
and thus journal/blog often/daily.
oh well...

eighteen:
i got a degree in teaching, but i have not in the mood to teach since i left DC.
is that bad?
no, cause i said so.
someday i will though, and i will be bril.
i just wish i had a school like Ellington here in AZ is all...

nineteen:
two favorite places to vacate to:
beach and lake.
anywhere with hot sun, cool breeze, and water...
and usually a good book/fun people.
ok, i guess i love big cities too...NYC, DC...etc.

twenty:
i have not missed a day yet this year
reading my sticks.

twenty-one:
i figured out that i have lived with only 14 other girls
in my college experience.

twenty-two:
i love most people. i just do.
the only people i really don't get into are those extremely dense,
protein-powdered jocks that you don't know how to talk to...

twenty-three:
i am an insomniac, chronic worrior, as well as a chronic hiccuper.
i can get anxiety over the most random things sometimes,
i can go weeks without sleep if i do continue to worry about said things,
and randomly throughout the day (maybe 6-7x) i will blast a hiccup.
maybe that goes on in church and conference and in large lectures...
maybe, i just look confused and turn back too...

twenty-four:
i once got phones with a guy i was dating.
i think he still has the same number that is one digit from mine.
maybe i had a roommate that loved to prank call him at times.

twenty-five:
i just got into podcasts and itunes U.
both are filling up my little ipod of joy with informative pulp to coat my brain.
i love this american life, wait wait don't tell me, and listening to lectures on american history.
told you. total nerd.
but its free, and i sort of hate not being in school.
i will maybe have to be in grad school within the next year...
dag.

FYE... another story

i apologize to those of you (most of you) with a short attention span... cause you will miss this one...

so... rob, peg, and i are cruising down a very busy 5-or-so lane highway and we seem to be in a hurry. rob is at the helm, peg is in the back for reasons i don't recall, and i am somewhere in the middle holding on for dear life. we are shouting directions at each other and attempting to figure out what is happening around us when rob has the idea that we switch drivers!..... before i could disagree with this, he had rigged the pedals to keep the car in motion at its safe speed of around 80 or so, and he got out of his seat-- abandoning his post.

apparently this van-type vehicle we were in had decent alignment because there was no lane crossing. by the time it had taken me to get to the front of said random-sized vehicle, i notice the changed landscape out the windshield...barren desert...one lane. in fact, nearly seconds before i gain control, it seemed that we were on a mountainside with a beautiful view.

neither rob nor i noticed the sharp turn ahead of us (being that we were mid-driver-transaction) and as it came up, peg screamed in terror something that sounded like SHCLOOOOOOWWWWWDOOOOOGHGUWI
OGNSDISdnvdo!!!!!!

the front end of the vehicle thing whipped around vehemently and delicately landed on the downward facing portion of the 90º angle. this left rob and i on the floor holding on to our front seats like it was sunday school coloring time. peg sat facing us with a frozen ashy face in the back.

the car lurched forward, threatening our likely plummet to death. it lurched again. rob looked at me all dramatic like as if it were our last exchange, and before i could say a word, peg stood up, changing the weight configuration and causing us to inch another 3 feet toward our untimely demise... she slowly sat back down after a fit of shouts from her children, and then we didn't • move • a muscle. the car teetered on a hinge... like the moment before you rip out your sister's tooth.

the last thing i remember was a SUV-type vehicle drive up to the scene, and some female officer • no • brownie mom • no • park ranger lady show up and get out of the car...

the car began to creep yet further and just before it let go to a speedy downfall, rob and i dramatically shouted "I LOVE YOU!!!" just in case we were about to meet God.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

and then, naturally, i woke up.
not because of the dream necessarily, because i wasn't shaking or anything, but because if i am not in school or working, (like when i actually NEED to get up early) it is expected to wake up at 6:30 sharp with no hope of returning.


SO- what does it mean?
(this one brought to you by mydreamvisions.com)

––Coming to an edge, such as arriving at a cliff or other boundary, might represent:

• A point of transition, such as within a process or between phases
• A feeling of being forced to change, adapt, or take action of some kind in your life
• The idea of limited options
  
• An obstacle or challenge
• A sudden loss of support from others (perhaps giving you the opportunity to "fly" on your own somehow in your life)
• Feeling pushed to an extreme or limit

––Driving You as a driver can represent the way you're "running your life" right now, or recently (oh good... thanks for that!)

––Being in an accident (car, airplane, train, etc.) can mean:

• You're afraid of something catastrophic happening that's out of your control
• You're feeling things are out of control somehow in your life right now
• You feel or fear bad luck or things not going your way

––Driving down a highway and accidentally running off the highway can mean you need to pay more attention to responsibility for yourself and your life somehow.

––Dreaming that you are falling can represent:

• A feeling or fear of abandonment, especially feeling abandoned by a "caretaker" such as a partner, employer, or by God
• A feeling or fear of a loss of security or control, or a sudden lack of foundation in your life, such as a situation where "the rug is pulled out from under you"

hmmm..... again, interesting.
a drought of little to no remembrance of my dreams to a sudden flood of semi-worrisome sounding ones...

4 days till i'm an east coaster...
i'm bringing my cowgirl boots for comfort.
its gonna be awesome.

The adventures my phone has been on without you...

i realize that my phone often catches some very great things... and some things that just exist and that aren't so great... or even blog-worthy...but i will share them with you now.
in fact, grab a snack first—i can wait.

this is my niece.. (when in mesa) who i need to play with very soon or i just might spontaneously combust...

this is the flag on campus the monday following Hinkley's passing. it was snowy and cold and just looked cool.

this is in the tunnel of the HFAC.. where us wierdo artsy fartsy types hang out. generally about once a week or so, my brother and i make a trip to this place and get a non-caffeinated beverage (fresca...dur) and/or a bag of sun chips... preferably of the garden salsa persuasion. then i walk away singing "done, done, on to the next one..." for no good reason.

one of the days in arizona i left my phone at the house and peg and i went out to lunch or something... dad grabbed it and took it to work. when he walked it out he said in his old-man-that-doesn't-get-technology voice, "yeah... so i think i took a picture..."

i miss this one too. can we play soon?

rob lets someone else do the honor of shaving his head every week... lazy? yes. but i guess when you have a friends who will do it—that's the way i guess. almost mirrors m&m....the white rapper... not the candy... that's just gross—i can't believe you thought that.

i miss this too. family. here in coldtown, usa. grandpas and babies and all.

member that cute roommate that writes on stuff?

i painted that once. but it is nothin next to my brick...

i went to vegas... my phone went to nyc without me...


"only in utah" part two... the byu edition... no comment.

happy hump day... only two more days till the weekend is back!!
...your welcome for that...

Randomtown. Population: Me.

deep thoughts,
by MEG:



I was thinking. Ya know when you run up the stairs? Like you have many of them to run up and you've got a railing to hold on to? Do you step with your whole foot, or just your toes? I don't know- I think I switch off. Sometimes I think I like to step firmly on both of my feet because it makes me feel more powerful or something.

I was thinking too. Ya know when you have those moments in your life that as they are happening you think, "this is one of those moments I will remember"? Well, I wonder how often we walk by other people in the middle of one of those "moments"? Like a conversation that to me was no big deal, just something I would normally do-- and it changed his life forever because I may have accidentally told him something about his personality that he hadn't realized yet. Or like being on a bus with someone who is about to see their mom for the first time... and I would never know that about her... stuff like that. I wonder.

Then I was also thinking. Ya know those people that take the stairs every time instead of the elevator? Ya know- the nuts and berries- smiling- tree hugging types? Does that really do THAT much good to your body? I mean, they probably work out and eat healthy already- what is that few extra steps really going to do for them? I just know that they are still healthier than me- there is no catching up!

Then, as I sat in church today, some guy said that "obedience is a choice that we make one time in our life, and then we never have to make it again." Um.... really? When was that for me then I wonder? I guess I was sleeping when the polls ran on that one.... so did I lose? I am going to be right here, still thinking that one through if no one minds.

Or like the place that we saw here in Vegas called "A Cat Hospital." Why the "A"? No really, I know that isn't that big of a deal, and really it isn't, but I sometimes wish I could have been there when the owners sat down and decided what to call their high-class cat joint. "Well, we should go with what they will search in google.... so they come here first..." "yeah- that's good... real good."

And then I thought of how much I love to be with my people. I had dinner two nights this week with dear friends of mine that I don't get to see often and it made me happy. I guess I realized that I have more life-long friends than I thought already. See, I am New Years efficient! (except the fact that I didn't go to the gym this last week...I will go this one many times to make up..)