I suck at sleeping.
That's all there is to it.
It is an art, and I have no talent.
To elaborate, let me give you a run down that may or may not occur often:
1- Come home from something tiring....like say a show or rehearsal, my hair looks like Cher and I have uncharacteristically pink cheeks
2- I have lost maybe five pounds being a mascot all night, but decide on liquid instead of food (because it is after 8, and I am not allowed).
3- DDP in hand, I help the girls watch the end of "While You Were Sleeping..." and giggle all the way through...
4- Then I decide that whatever homework I have can wait till tomorrow- so it does- and I "hit the sheets" (whatever that means...) Time: 11:30
5- Then it begins. Usually it is about an hour of rolling around until I realize that my caffeinated beverage was a bad idea. I try tensing up and letting go, counting back from 100, telling every part of my body that I can name to relax....(which doesn't take long) it doesn't matter-my body is high maintenance and refuses to get comfortable! I get jealous of the lady with no arms because at least she can lay any way she wants... her arms don't interrupt her sleep! I want to cut arm wedges in my foam bed to sleep on my side... They strangle me in my sleep!
6- Then there is the hair battle: too much is a bad thing. Can't stay up or I am rolling over a wod, can't keep it down cause I will get strangled and not be able to breathe, so I decide a side braid will do. Though it is so kinky it is in a huge, ugly, uncomfortable wod too... truly a wet and straight braid is best- but I didn't want to take a shower... I will just have to take another tomorrow!
7- So... it starts on my side and then after realizing my body is unhappy with me in its current state, I finally go to my stomach- which defeats the purpose of having one of those fancy pillows...
8- At something like but not necessarily 1:00 or so, I finally fall asleep.
9- Wake up at 3:00, on the nose, to relieve the large cup of liquid I downed at 11.... (I always wake up exactly on the hour...really weird. Since I was a kid I have been waking up every hour on Christmas morning...on the hour....I know- trippy.)
and the process begins again...
That's all there is to it.
It is an art, and I have no talent.
To elaborate, let me give you a run down that may or may not occur often:
1- Come home from something tiring....like say a show or rehearsal, my hair looks like Cher and I have uncharacteristically pink cheeks
2- I have lost maybe five pounds being a mascot all night, but decide on liquid instead of food (because it is after 8, and I am not allowed).
3- DDP in hand, I help the girls watch the end of "While You Were Sleeping..." and giggle all the way through...
4- Then I decide that whatever homework I have can wait till tomorrow- so it does- and I "hit the sheets" (whatever that means...) Time: 11:30
5- Then it begins. Usually it is about an hour of rolling around until I realize that my caffeinated beverage was a bad idea. I try tensing up and letting go, counting back from 100, telling every part of my body that I can name to relax....(which doesn't take long) it doesn't matter-my body is high maintenance and refuses to get comfortable! I get jealous of the lady with no arms because at least she can lay any way she wants... her arms don't interrupt her sleep! I want to cut arm wedges in my foam bed to sleep on my side... They strangle me in my sleep!
6- Then there is the hair battle: too much is a bad thing. Can't stay up or I am rolling over a wod, can't keep it down cause I will get strangled and not be able to breathe, so I decide a side braid will do. Though it is so kinky it is in a huge, ugly, uncomfortable wod too... truly a wet and straight braid is best- but I didn't want to take a shower... I will just have to take another tomorrow!
7- So... it starts on my side and then after realizing my body is unhappy with me in its current state, I finally go to my stomach- which defeats the purpose of having one of those fancy pillows...
8- At something like but not necessarily 1:00 or so, I finally fall asleep.
9- Wake up at 3:00, on the nose, to relieve the large cup of liquid I downed at 11.... (I always wake up exactly on the hour...really weird. Since I was a kid I have been waking up every hour on Christmas morning...on the hour....I know- trippy.)
and the process begins again...
