dear santa... or goblin witch of all hallow's eve...

that's all.
think about it....

FYE... another story

i apologize to those of you (most of you) with a short attention span... cause you will miss this one...

so... rob, peg, and i are cruising down a very busy 5-or-so lane highway and we seem to be in a hurry. rob is at the helm, peg is in the back for reasons i don't recall, and i am somewhere in the middle holding on for dear life. we are shouting directions at each other and attempting to figure out what is happening around us when rob has the idea that we switch drivers!..... before i could disagree with this, he had rigged the pedals to keep the car in motion at its safe speed of around 80 or so, and he got out of his seat-- abandoning his post.

apparently this van-type vehicle we were in had decent alignment because there was no lane crossing. by the time it had taken me to get to the front of said random-sized vehicle, i notice the changed landscape out the windshield...barren desert...one lane. in fact, nearly seconds before i gain control, it seemed that we were on a mountainside with a beautiful view.

neither rob nor i noticed the sharp turn ahead of us (being that we were mid-driver-transaction) and as it came up, peg screamed in terror something that sounded like SHCLOOOOOOWWWWWDOOOOOGHGUWI
OGNSDISdnvdo!!!!!!

the front end of the vehicle thing whipped around vehemently and delicately landed on the downward facing portion of the 90º angle. this left rob and i on the floor holding on to our front seats like it was sunday school coloring time. peg sat facing us with a frozen ashy face in the back.

the car lurched forward, threatening our likely plummet to death. it lurched again. rob looked at me all dramatic like as if it were our last exchange, and before i could say a word, peg stood up, changing the weight configuration and causing us to inch another 3 feet toward our untimely demise... she slowly sat back down after a fit of shouts from her children, and then we didn't • move • a muscle. the car teetered on a hinge... like the moment before you rip out your sister's tooth.

the last thing i remember was a SUV-type vehicle drive up to the scene, and some female officer • no • brownie mom • no • park ranger lady show up and get out of the car...

the car began to creep yet further and just before it let go to a speedy downfall, rob and i dramatically shouted "I LOVE YOU!!!" just in case we were about to meet God.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

and then, naturally, i woke up.
not because of the dream necessarily, because i wasn't shaking or anything, but because if i am not in school or working, (like when i actually NEED to get up early) it is expected to wake up at 6:30 sharp with no hope of returning.


SO- what does it mean?
(this one brought to you by mydreamvisions.com)

––Coming to an edge, such as arriving at a cliff or other boundary, might represent:

• A point of transition, such as within a process or between phases
• A feeling of being forced to change, adapt, or take action of some kind in your life
• The idea of limited options
  
• An obstacle or challenge
• A sudden loss of support from others (perhaps giving you the opportunity to "fly" on your own somehow in your life)
• Feeling pushed to an extreme or limit

––Driving You as a driver can represent the way you're "running your life" right now, or recently (oh good... thanks for that!)

––Being in an accident (car, airplane, train, etc.) can mean:

• You're afraid of something catastrophic happening that's out of your control
• You're feeling things are out of control somehow in your life right now
• You feel or fear bad luck or things not going your way

––Driving down a highway and accidentally running off the highway can mean you need to pay more attention to responsibility for yourself and your life somehow.

––Dreaming that you are falling can represent:

• A feeling or fear of abandonment, especially feeling abandoned by a "caretaker" such as a partner, employer, or by God
• A feeling or fear of a loss of security or control, or a sudden lack of foundation in your life, such as a situation where "the rug is pulled out from under you"

hmmm..... again, interesting.
a drought of little to no remembrance of my dreams to a sudden flood of semi-worrisome sounding ones...

4 days till i'm an east coaster...
i'm bringing my cowgirl boots for comfort.
its gonna be awesome.

another bedtime story for you because we are so close

so last night i am laying in bed.
i don't remember much except that all of the sudden i started to hear a lot of noise. i shoot up in my bed in an ultra panic, and i don't remember where i am. it sounds like gun shots and bombs going off everywhere around me so i peek out the window and alas-- there is! (though i couldn't see them...)

i run up the stairs and across the hall, where apparently my sister sleeps. maddi is quite a hard sleeper, but it was so loud out that there should have been no reason for her state of being: sprawled out face down in spread-eagle fashion all over her bed-- dead asleep. i frantically urge her to get up because we are getting attacked or something and that we need to get out like now or the house will collapse on us and kill her dog (note: my sister does not have a dog). she mumbles to go away a few times until i am compelled to go and tamper with her a bit. she then tiredly grumbles, "the queen gave me money... to stay here and watch stuff... so just go..."

"what queen?"
"the quee--or the president... whatever."

i run to find my mom, who is on the other side of this unrecognizable mansion and when i find her i start frantically explaining to her what i heard. maddi joins in the doorway of the bathroom (yeah- i thought she was sleeping too!) as i ramble, i decide, hey- we are close enough for this- i am just going to pee whilst talking to them and they are here with me in the bathroom. so i drop em and sit and i swear pee is going up--not down. i shout something, that i am sure sounded gibberishy, like "i just peed all over myself!"

i wake up. reach down. sure thing: totally wet myself.

dear 8-year-old self: yes, you will wet the bed at some point in your adulthood...
so just keep taking the nose spray for now...

so then i thought: what could all this mean?

i was having trouble sleeping in the first place because i guess i was thinking about all of the packing that i just did/the mini bawl-fest i had after saying goodbye to my close friends/the men's gymnasts that we had just watched/my inability to teach soon/what i am going to wear tomorrow because literally everything is in the car/i hope i get to see jake and emily before they leave so early in the morning/i hope dc is as excited to see me as i am to see it/what the mothers will wear at my wedding/how i am going to have 12 bridesmen instead of maids/where will i find another large suitcase?/i wonder why my roommates were all MIA tonight so i couldn't say goodbye?/yellow-black-white? vs. green-black-white?/i hope calli got my birthday message so we can do lunch this week/i need to go running/i really should have paid those bills before i bailed and packed the checkbook into the abyss of my car...maybe i can mail it/i wonder what textbooks i will need with me in dc?/what is that pain in my stomach?...

....snore.

dreammoods.com says:

Urinating: To dream that you are urinating, symbolizes a cleansing and release of negative or repressed emotions. Urination is symbolic of having or lacking basic control in your life. (sounds horribly vague to me too...)

Explosions: To hear the sound of a loud explosion, but you did not see it, signifies that your troubles will soon be replaced with tranquility after you have overcome some small obstacle.

so... i guess the crazy moving was a small obstacle-
we did have to get the car jump-started twice
by a few of az's finest hicks and drove the last few hours
without air conditioning to save the battery,
but i think we are now "in control of life!"
and that means that i am in arizona... for a bit.

you know you watched it- you know you loved it...

i plan on making a slightly...er...special confession right now.

but first: the inspiration for the confession:

{the Davids}

i have to admit, from day one i was all over david a.
like a bag o chips.
tonight i was wondering if it was even normal
that i wanted to love him all over
probably not- since he's 17...

but that david c- he pulled it off,
and i have to say i think he will be fun.
both of them will produce well and make great records. it will just be fun to see what a producer will do with david a- he could really go 30 ways. i kind of hope a david foster-type will find him and run.
but david c- you got yous some style and a following already and tha's ah-ight by me.

syesha- love you too, and carrie underwood- what the crapnet was you wearing?
and i sure wish they had recorded that one republic and david a's rendish of "apologize".
{sing it} melting!

lets go here- who doesn't want to be on american idol?

which brings me to my confession:
I DO!!!

every time there is a new artist week i spend most of the week thinking of what i would sing and practicing in the shower as if i were there...
and then at the end of the season i usually cry
because i watch some dude get his dream zapped into reality and i can only imagine what that would be like.

so, i would like to make an addendum to my new years goals this year
(but more realistically it would happen a year from now...)
i am so trying out.

lets be honest- i really just want to rock out a few times on that stage and then get kicked off so i can go perform in some show for a while... honestly- would that we a dream or what?

oh- one more confession:
just purchased "one rock and roll too many" (Syesha) on itunes...
5 times and counting... yum. no—6 now....


oh and speaking of goals: 3 weeks and 1 day off of DDP
i awesome.


also- check the other blog for
why you should be heading to the movies ASAP

I know I know... you are dying to know...

I am green.

For the record, Rascal Flatts are A-freakin-MAZING in concert!

I am sold on the concert thing now. Oh- and I plan on breaking up a marriage or two... Joe Don here I come!

I have never felt more like a 13-year-old: screaming and salivating and bouncing up and down. It was quite the rush. I also kept watchin Kelly Pickler who opened for them (Previous North Carolinian American Idol chick) who wasn't all that bad. She was quite fun to watch actually. I just listened to her and thought, I could do that. Why don't I have her job? How fun would it be to just get to do what you absolutely love the more than anything and get paid for it? In that case, can I have her job, Diablo Cody's, Sutton Foster's... Jennifer Hudson's...

Man, if you write music— call me. That's all I have to say about that. I am ready to do this biz. I just sat there and watched as young Kelly tried to be a pop star. She wanted to look and act just like one, sound just like one. The best part of her show was when she talked in between the songs and you could get a sense of her adorably naive southern girl side and you couldn't help but fall in love with her. I'm not saying she is not talented or a decent performer, all I am saying is I don't want to have to go through Simon to rock to my own beat... and that's all I want to do: rock out. I would love nothing more than to have a stage, awesome lighting, wicked band, and just rock out to great music that tells you who I am. Is that so much to ask? Guess dreams are for rookies. Lucky blond chicks who never worked a day in your life though... here- you can have this life on this silver-lined platter that is just waiting for you in your chariot, I saved it for you.

But anyway- I'm not bitter. The concert was fantastical. The live-ness is key I think. Having them there in person, (the point of the concert I assume) with all of the sounds and lights and fun things they say as they go... I mention lights because that day I set the lights for my show and with the help of a designer friend I hafta say: they are quite awesome. (Maddi I dearly hope you are tracking the use of awesome here.)

I think it was the best first concert to go to. I say this knowing that you are laughing at that. How could I say that with only one under my belt? Well, because. They thanked me for being there, Joe did, and Jay did, and then Gary did... they were all so grateful of the blessing it is to do what they love and they recognized their fans as their dream realized. (ooh.. that sounds cheesy and trite, but I swear it was tasteful.) They are good married guys, who have followed a dream and done what they wanted to do... I respect that... and quite frankly, envy that.

See... I am green.

Thanks March already for the good times, and the put-you-in-your-placeness that I need to remind me where I go.

Calm down Steph, awesome pictures will come as soon as I get them...