Saturday, August 18, 2007

Why I love my job

I am a student. I work at BYU Independent Study. This means I answer phones...all day. And the people I talk to...not generally the most intelligent kind. Here is a sample of a day at work talking to America's finest individuals that I lovingly call moron idiots:

Me: Good morning, this is Meg, what can I do for you?
Girl who could have thought longer prior to making this call: Yeah, I am taking one of those quiz thingys, and I have this scantron sheet here. The form thing has a T and and F above the A and B bubbles... but my quiz has like more than that for possible.... uh...
Me: it's multiple choice...
Girl: Yeah, so can i use this?
Me:...um....yes....
Girl: Oh ok, cause my mom and I were just staring at this for a while and thought that the T and F meant that it had to be true or false... but there are other bubbles here too I guess... ok thanks!
(click)
My inner monologue: Did that just happen?....Yes, Meg, it did.


An email I received
:im wondering how to make sure that when i submit my work by mail it will get to only you and not
some other office or instructor. since i have the
address stickers can i stick one on an envelope
containing all my work and then mail it to the
address on the sticker i received?

My response
: We sent those to you to be sure that your assignment was sent to some phony place. Take luck. - IS

This is what I imagined the mom on the other line of this call:

Me: Blah blah... what do you want...
Mom: I am trying to see if the exam has arrived for my daughter... she's at school and can't call and we sent it back express so it should be there soon.
Me: Do you have a tracking number?
Mom: Yes, I sure do!
Me: Have you tracked it?
Mom: Yes, I sure did, and it says that it hasn't been delivered...
Me: Well then let me check... uh yeah, that means we don't have that here... sorry about that...
Mom: Well thank you for all of your help! You have a great day!
Me: (stunned silence)
(click)

THE DEFINITION, as promised, OF A MORON IDIOT:
I will use an email to demonstrate:

"I recently took my final exam with a pen and did
not realize that a number two pencil was required
until I saw the notice on the back of my answer
sheet. My proctor told me to continue with the
test and to go over my answers with a pencil. I
need this course to graduate and I was wondering
if this was okay.
Thank you."

This is an example of a stupid student- meaning one that will probably fail this final exam anyway, due to plain ole' stupidity. The fact that they filled it out in pen, is what makes them your average moron- which is a whole different level of dumb. You see- it's two fold- two levels to human stupidity which equals "moron idiot".
I mean, has she ever taken a test in her life? Has a pen ever been OK on those? No. In fact, the teachers remind you about the pencil thing for 2 weeks prior to! Bless her heart.

Note:the proctor in this case is a bit of a moron too...bless her heart.

PS: I am not a brat... I do sometimes laugh at dumb people though...so sue me!

7 comments:

  1. You need to record some of those. Okay...SABRA WON!!!! We knew it. Of course she did. She's fabulous! I was in love with that entire finale. Although, I was not and still not a fan of Mia Michael's "flower dance." Sorry, I thought it was RETARDED!

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  3. Oh how I love this. I love moron idiots, simply for the fact that we can laugh and scoff at their stupidity. Never leave this job so that I can continue to have great laughs and be stunned in awe and amazement at the lack of common sense of wonderful students of the Y.

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  4. Dear MMM,

    I have a small request for you to not continue recording my "annoymous" calls and placing them on your blog. I can't help that I am intelligent-deprived.

    Thank you,
    Alisse

    P.S.- I was wondering... if I kind of forgot to go back and fill in the bubbles completely on my scantron (they ask us to remember so much!) if that could've affected me getting an F on the last test.

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  5. Wow, wow, wow. Suddenly I am not feeling quite as ashamed of my MCC education...at least I can fill in a bubble sheet correctly. Honestly, I recently laughed and asked myself, Why do they even give the #2 pencil instructions anymore? First of all, are there any pencils that are NOT #2? I would really like an answer to that question. But alas, I now realize that the instruction is not for the #3 pencil users out there, it is for the moron idiots that think that pen is okay. Wow.

    You should start doing what Philip does: when people at work ask him a ridiculously not smart question, he repeats it so they can hear how dumb they sounded. It works wonders I know, because he has maybe used this tactic on me before. Waah.

    P.S. Sorry for the long comment of the year.

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  6. so i love this post! moron idiots give me such a laugh! i have come across many of them in my day. try working at a private investigation office. people are really that dumb!

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cause they make me smile