a not love story and a love story...

(i originally wrote this post back in august, but hesitated to post it....
then i remembered that this is my blog.)

a long while ago we went and saw this movie.

beautiful, quirky, fun, real.

i love zoey deschanel and i really like this jeffery guy

(whom you might remember from ten things i hate about you...)

it is a non-linear look at what those relationships do to us...
the highs the lows the pain and the fun.

quite frankly, it felt like i was watching the last few years of my life on film.

they don't hide the fact that this movie isn't a love story.
its not really.

but she says:
"i found, with him, what i couldn't find with you."

that's really it.

99% of the people we date we feel this way about.

i have been thinking about it a lot because
i know i have hurt people before in telling them that it just wasn't it.
i spent so much time fretting over how to make it work,
when it just was't going to.

we left the theater, and had conversations about past relationships
and how funny it is that they lead you here.

we have to tough out those highs and lows and near-"it" experiences to get it.

i needed each one of those to learn what i know about myself now.
even though i have more to go

another true sign that my Heavenly Father loves me.

"and thy pain and affliction shall be but a small moment..."


thanks. i needed that.