I suck at sleeping.
That's all there is to it.
It is an art, and I have no talent.
To elaborate, let me give you a run down that may or may not occur often:
1- Come home from something tiring....like say a show or rehearsal, my hair looks like Cher and I have uncharacteristically pink cheeks
2- I have lost maybe five pounds being a mascot all night, but decide on liquid instead of food (because it is after 8, and I am not allowed).
3- DDP in hand, I help the girls watch the end of "While You Were Sleeping..." and giggle all the way through...
4- Then I decide that whatever homework I have can wait till tomorrow- so it does- and I "hit the sheets" (whatever that means...) Time: 11:30
5- Then it begins. Usually it is about an hour of rolling around until I realize that my caffeinated beverage was a bad idea. I try tensing up and letting go, counting back from 100, telling every part of my body that I can name to relax....(which doesn't take long) it doesn't matter-my body is high maintenance and refuses to get comfortable! I get jealous of the lady with no arms because at least she can lay any way she wants... her arms don't interrupt her sleep! I want to cut arm wedges in my foam bed to sleep on my side... They strangle me in my sleep!
6- Then there is the hair battle: too much is a bad thing. Can't stay up or I am rolling over a wod, can't keep it down cause I will get strangled and not be able to breathe, so I decide a side braid will do. Though it is so kinky it is in a huge, ugly, uncomfortable wod too... truly a wet and straight braid is best- but I didn't want to take a shower... I will just have to take another tomorrow!
7- So... it starts on my side and then after realizing my body is unhappy with me in its current state, I finally go to my stomach- which defeats the purpose of having one of those fancy pillows...
8- At something like but not necessarily 1:00 or so, I finally fall asleep.
9- Wake up at 3:00, on the nose, to relieve the large cup of liquid I downed at 11.... (I always wake up exactly on the hour...really weird. Since I was a kid I have been waking up every hour on Christmas morning...on the hour....I know- trippy.)
and the process begins again...
That's all there is to it.
It is an art, and I have no talent.
To elaborate, let me give you a run down that may or may not occur often:
1- Come home from something tiring....like say a show or rehearsal, my hair looks like Cher and I have uncharacteristically pink cheeks
2- I have lost maybe five pounds being a mascot all night, but decide on liquid instead of food (because it is after 8, and I am not allowed).
3- DDP in hand, I help the girls watch the end of "While You Were Sleeping..." and giggle all the way through...
4- Then I decide that whatever homework I have can wait till tomorrow- so it does- and I "hit the sheets" (whatever that means...) Time: 11:30
5- Then it begins. Usually it is about an hour of rolling around until I realize that my caffeinated beverage was a bad idea. I try tensing up and letting go, counting back from 100, telling every part of my body that I can name to relax....(which doesn't take long) it doesn't matter-my body is high maintenance and refuses to get comfortable! I get jealous of the lady with no arms because at least she can lay any way she wants... her arms don't interrupt her sleep! I want to cut arm wedges in my foam bed to sleep on my side... They strangle me in my sleep!
6- Then there is the hair battle: too much is a bad thing. Can't stay up or I am rolling over a wod, can't keep it down cause I will get strangled and not be able to breathe, so I decide a side braid will do. Though it is so kinky it is in a huge, ugly, uncomfortable wod too... truly a wet and straight braid is best- but I didn't want to take a shower... I will just have to take another tomorrow!
7- So... it starts on my side and then after realizing my body is unhappy with me in its current state, I finally go to my stomach- which defeats the purpose of having one of those fancy pillows...
8- At something like but not necessarily 1:00 or so, I finally fall asleep.
9- Wake up at 3:00, on the nose, to relieve the large cup of liquid I downed at 11.... (I always wake up exactly on the hour...really weird. Since I was a kid I have been waking up every hour on Christmas morning...on the hour....I know- trippy.)
and the process begins again...
Well at least you are still blogging. I loved the insomnia color commentary. I have had some of those nights myself. I can relate to all but the thick hair thing. Used to have it though. Wait till you are 54, no hair to speak of and the New and frightening disease called "Resless Leg Syndrome". Not pretty.
ReplyDeleteDo we suck at sleeping? or suck at not knowing that DDP will keep us awake!
ReplyDeleteAh... The recklessness of youth. Love it.
Um. Rich should join your sleepless club:( And, you are always invited to come up on any weekend you want. This Sunday included. Luve ya.
ReplyDeleteI didnt even read the whole sleep thing, but a life without the DDP would probably suck...oh I've done and it does. Dude all about the DVC. Ya try that one...see if you can firgure it out....PS go vote on my blog!!! love ya...Rosemary is getting married, need your address
ReplyDeleteI have said many of times that we should be able to pop our arms off at night when we sleep and put them back on when we get up in the morning...so would make sleeping A LOT easier!
ReplyDeleteMeg,
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry! This sounds miserable!! Maybe you should talk to Jake because without fail he is asleep every night as soon as his head hits the pillow. Your Millie pics are SO cute. We are likewise getting very excited for it.
Well... then add an hour convo w/mom and you might really not sleep. Sorry, but thanks.
ReplyDelete